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“The ties you make in your 20s tend to withstand the life changes that happen in your 30s,” Ms. And they can be easier to find early in a career.

But work friends see each other through the world of ideas. High school and college friends see each other through parties, family feuds, crushes and coming-of-age. What holds true across all these types is the growth that a work friend can support. “Here I was becoming this person - taking the train, dressing up, having a real job - and they were helping guide me through it.” “I really made my best friends in publishing,” Ms. Way beyond the business case for work friends is a hunger for the type of relationships that transform everyone involved. “But our brains know it’s not the real thing.”įor those who have spent decades working in an office, something has been lost in the transition to remote work.

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Andrew Pauly, 32, who works at the Planetary Society, attended a virtual watch party of “2001: A Space Odyssey” with his teammates, in which they all cracked open beers and traded interpretations of the film, trying to replicate the joys of sitting around the office doing bits from “I Think You Should Leave.” It wasn’t quite the same. Many have tried out extreme forms of long-distance bonding. Companies stayed productive even with their workers squirreled away at home and forming bonds rooted entirely in well-timed emojis. “People younger than me that haven’t had that full-time work experience in an office don’t really know what they’re missing out on.”īusinesses kept humming along anyway. “I’m really just going in because my place has no air-conditioning,” Ms. Sometimes the floor is so void of movement that the motion-sensor lights go out. Callaway is completing a legal internship in a Los Angeles office that often feels empty. She, too, shared her grief with teammates when she lost a relative, knowing they would say all the right things. She saw colleagues cry when a client lost a case. Marin Callaway, 26, started her career in 2018 at a public defender’s office, where the stakes of the work seemed to heighten the stakes of the work friendships. Zillow, which says it is “headquartered in the cloud,” is renovating some of its office spaces to look more like living rooms, so workers will feel cozy spending time together there.īut, for many, there’s an irrefutable loneliness in all this talking through screens.

This year, Salesforce opened Trailblazer Ranch, where employees can come together for nature walks, yoga, cooking classes and meditation. So, managers have planned virtual trivia sessions, virtual cocktail hours, off-sites and on-sites.

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Some three million professional roles went permanently remote at the end of 2021. Degliantoni, for example, felt that her first work friends fell somewhere between pals and fairy godmothers.Įmployers are trying their best to make up for lost in-person time, with office occupancy across the country still under 50 percent. They have yet to meet their co-workers in person - let alone form the relationships that feel most consequential at the start of a career. For some young people, including those who work in industries like tech and law that have yet to fully return to the office, work life now means taking video calls from bed. Those early-career friendships have become something of an endangered species. It’s the tenderness of showing up to work on a rough morning and realizing a co-worker will know instantly that something is wrong.

It’s the delight of darting to someone’s desk and dragging her to the bathroom to gossip. It’s the thrill of staying too late at drinks to keep giggling. There’s an electricity to forming that first close friend at work. Degliantoni, now 50, feels that she owes parts of her career, her family and her very sense of self in the workplace to those two first work friends, Ginny Cahill, 61, and Molly Miller, 56. When she’d landed upon the perfect guy to marry. When to take a summer off and teach white-water rafting to get perspective.

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How to have fun at the office holiday party without getting too drunk. How to take feedback from a boss without compromising on her ideas. The things that Lisa Degliantoni learned at 22 from the two best friends she met at her New York City publishing job included but were not limited to: